I am back at the university studying full time twenty years after the last time I was in formal education.
There are some things that have changed since. I’m not lacking of confidence. And I have work experience on the subject. Did I think I would be an alien, at least a decade older than the majority of the students? Yes. And I can see some twenty years old students talk the theory but weak in joining the dots. Then there are exceptions, the smart ones. That put the hours in and build coherence across perspectives and layers. And the professors the Bank of knowledge of recalculations across parallel universes, the poets that make you laugh, worry, question, empower.
Do the 20 something year olds see what I see?
I’m emerged, taken, absorbed.
The weight of information is frying my brains, I can feel the heat emitting. I feel like a Nick Cave song. Poverty, testosterone, rebirth, death, crisis, grouping, introspection, self and sense check.
I can see again and with that I came to find a purpose for the frame I hold in my hands as I type.
Here are the shots from the first month in uni. After 20 years. Just as my memories from the first time, fading away in the distance, this somehow has poured new colours on to it.
On the first chilly day of autumn, I walked out of the house for work to find my brain clicking into Camden cravings.
I’m not talking about the food options, the bashing vibes, the shopping or drinking ports.
That would be too much detail.
I’m talking about the warming feeling I get when I’m here.
In Camden Town, at sunset, on a crisp day. It feels like belonging, it feels like home.
I could climb under the cobble stones and sleep there for the night.
And wake up to crawl back up from beneath them, to see Camden in sunrise.